Der erhabene Moment

(inspired by Dali’s painting)

An Ode to all abusive men who taught me the best lessons of my life – With very best of wishes and… With Thanks!


Oh, Sublime Moments! That’s how I saw all…
That’s the illusion which I always kept...
In spite of the reality you brought me
I kept on lying to myself – but why??

What kept defied reality ongoing?
What needs did you fulfill for the ‘small me’?
How could the word Love keep me in this lie?
How could I put my heart under your knife?

Oh Yes! I truly wanted much a Dream
The prefect dream of *us*!
No matter the abuse and the wrongdoing…
I still named you ‘My Master of Romance’…

My eggs… waiting to be so perfectly fecund
By what I thought was Love! – So many times
I placed your slimy poison on my wound
To numb the pain! This kept me in your maze…

In fact what your supposed love was doing
Was frying all my seeds, and youth and life
So sweet the process was – I didn’t notice
Until me and my seeds got out of life…

Instead of fertilizing me with love –
You just massaged my hopes with sweet snail slime
That poisoned my whole self, killing me slowly
Keeping me ready for your feast ..only …

I kept on listening for all these years…
My words went always lost before they reached your ear…
There’s nothing more to say… Your talk still drools the slime…
I could have lived like this a life time, or a while…

But No! Life screams out from me far too strong:
Where is the love?? Where are my dreams, where is my spirit???
How could I spoil them with your slimy lyrics?
How could my second nature grow so wrong?

(A second nature can as well be Death
When it comes to survival from deep pain…
Lost chances measure quite well the degree
Of deprecation into the Small Me…)


So, what remains from all these perfect dreams
and memories I built in hope…
From all the sunny moments I did not enjoy
in the marvelous places we explored?…

A huge *huge* lesson about me and self respect,
About who I was when I met you – and how I grew up
About how I will leave from now on Heaven’s Lap.
The life that I am worth of I resurrect!

I say good bye to you – but keep the memory…
Its slimy taste will guard me now undoubtedly!


Mihaela Ulieru©

Copyright October 2004 Mihaela Ulieru